


The Story of Who You Are is Written in Your Scars

by DoogleDog101



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No Smut, Self-Harm, Trans Robbie Rotten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:40:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9915860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoogleDog101/pseuds/DoogleDog101
Summary: In a world where soulmates get each other's scars, sometimes you wish you wouldn't have to know.Sportacus worries about his soulmate's impending suicide or recovery, but Robbie just wants that flippy elf out of his town.





	1. Sportacus - A Beginning

     The cutting started when he was 15. Thin, white scars up and down his forearms. He cried over it almost every night for two years. Then, the cutting stopped, but Sportacus still checked every night, even long after the scars faded. When he was 21, two new scars formed. That in itself wasn't strange, he had been getting small pricks from sewing needles and such along his fingertips for years, but these were different. Two large gashes across his chest. If they ween't so surgical, Sportacus would have assumed they were from a very bad fight. The small cuts and punctures became more frequent over the years, but the cutting didn't start again until he was 32. Two years later, the cutting still hadn't stopped.

     Sportacus had never really tried to actively seek out his soulmate. He had always figured that they would eventually just find each other, no rush. However, with the ever-growing cluster of scars hidden beneath his arm braces, he had begun to consider the possibility of his soulmate's suicide. He didn't even know who it was, but he just wanted to take all their pain away. He wanted them to be okay. Suddenly, Sportacus jumped up from where he had been sitting and thinking with a small gasp. "I've got mail!"


	2. Robbie Rotten - A Not-So Beginning

     Robbie Rotten wasn't always a villain. He was just a "lazy" man who liked to fight for things he believed in. But he loved the label. He took it as soon as it was offered. But a villain is only a synonym for antagonist, and the antagonist isn't always the bad guy. He didn't hate Sportacus, who had shown up just two days ago, he didn't know him well enough to hate him. But he hated how _good_ he was. How perfectly perfect he was. How smart and healthy and _happy_ he was. Robbie often hated things like that. Kids, holidays, soulmates... He didn't deserve a soulmate. He didn't deserve anything. The scars on his arms were enough to show for that. Those scars were laced with unwritten words that Robbie could never believe described anything other than himself. Worthless, useless, unloved, unneeded, alone, stupid, disgusting, uncaring, ignorant. He believed every one of them to be true. But he had busied himself, since the day he turned 21, with worthless activities like sewing, baking, and mechanics. He was able to distract himself for quite a long time until... nothing. The memories would come and they wouldn't go. And he was alone. And the pain would clear his mind of all the worse things, even if just for a moment. And so he shoved the razor blade into his skin and didn't stop. Sportacus stood for everything he couldn't ever be, and he couldn't stand him.


	3. Think

      Sportacus was a bit downtrodden. He had gone around town, introducing himself to all the parents of the kids, but they all seemed so busy, and uncaring. Some of them weren't even home. Sportacus knew that wasn't safe. It was getting late and those kids were much to young to be alone in the house like that... but it wasn't any of his business. He wanted to talk to Robbie Rotten. He seemed like the only sensible adult in the town, and Sportacus had spent too much time with people who couldn't just stop and think for a second. He needed that contrast. He felt a little exited as he approached the billboard. He kind of felt like it was where he was supposed to be. He set a soft knock against the metal entrance to what Sportacus could only assume was a bunker. 

     Robbie struggled up the pipe to the entrance of his lair. It better not be those damned kids again. No, it was worse, he decided when he opened the hatch.

  "What do you want, Sporta _freak_?" He practically growled, glaring at that stupid elf. 

"Well, I was introducing myself to everyone around town."

Robbie scoffed. "I already know you. You can leave now. Bye." And with that, he turned and started to leave.

     "Do you?" Sportacus asked, seriously, and Robbie stopped. "I don't care." He replied, but he jumped out of the pipe, anyways. Sportacus held out his hand with a huge smile. Robbie took it with clear reluctance, but it didn't seem to phase Sportacus all that much. 

  "It's very nice to meet you, Robbie." He grinned.

"I can't say the same," Robbie grumbled, pulling his hand away. 

Sportacus rocked back on his feet and put his arms behind his back, still smiling. "I hope you'll change your mind about that." He stated, then turned to leave. Robbie watched him leave with a sigh. He really didn't know how to feel about him.


	4. Rain

     The rain was pouring down in LazyTown. It was a nice, cold rain, not too heavy, but still not a drizzle. Robbie loved it. He was perched outside on top of a bench with no extra clothes or umbrella. It was a good day, at least to Robbie. He didn't mind being wet, and the quiet was nice. There was no noise besides the soft, relaxing patter of rain against the concrete. He let out a contented sigh and leaned back, gripping onto the back of the bench tightly. It was practically perfect.

     Sportacus sighed loudly. As much as he loved flipping around, there was only so much you could do in an enclosed space, such as his airship, and doing the same thing for hours was boring. He decided he would go shoot basketball, anyways, because the rain didn't look all that bad. He descended his ladder in silence. The rain was cool, but not cold enough for him to need a jacket. He didn't flip. He knew it was unsafe with the ground so wet, and he couldn't risk falling and hurting himself. Instead, he walked slowly to the center of town, where the sport field was. He wasn't completely surprised to see Robbie there, sitting on a bench. He didn't see Sportacus approach due to having his head leaning back so he the rain splashed directly onto his face, and he didn't hear his soft footsteps over the rain. Sportacus smiled. It was nice to see him enjoying himself. He placed his basketball at the bottom on the hoop and carefully sat down on the bench, chuckling slightly at Robbie's decision to sit atop the back of the bench instead of on the seat. Robbie was startled, but luckily didn't fall off. Sportacus immediately sprang into apology after apology.

     Robbie shook his head. He had been upset for only less than a single second. He wasn't feeling particularly unhappy at the moment, in fact, one could even say he was in a _good mood_. Sportacus stopped talking when Robbie smiled at him. 

     "What did I do?" Sportacus asked in disbelief. He had never seen Robbie give such a genuine smile. Sportacus regretted that immensely, because it made Robbie's soft smile turn into a look of confusion. 

  "Nothing?" He sounded out, mostly to himself. He shrugged and pushed away his curiosity. "If you don't mind, I'm _relaxing_ here." Sportacus laughed. "But Robbie, this is a sports field." He smiled, jumping up and indulging in a single hand spring, grabbing his basketball in the process. Robbie groaned.

     "Would you like to play?" He offered, even though he already knew the answer. Somewhere inside of him was a small strand of hope that Robbie would agree to play with him.

  "No, thank you," he said, and Sportacus was a bit surprised by the polite sincerity of the statement. "Okay!" He chirped back, hoping that meant that one day he _would_ like to.

 

     Sportacus had been tossing the ball about for almost an hour, and, secretly, Robbie had watched him nearly the whole time. He frowned. Sportacus was something else. He looked down at his sleeve-clad forearms. Something he could never be. He had gotten caught up, and didn't realize when Sportacus stopped for a minute to do some stretches. He didn't notice he had been staring at his arms, deep in thought, for over three minutes. He didn't see that his sudden change in stature had alarmed Sportacus. He only looked up when he heard the elf's footsteps gain heaviness again, but this time instead of moving about the field looking for a good shot, he was jogging towards the other man. 

     "Is everything okay, Robbie?" Sportacus asked, hoping he wasn't over-stepping his boundaries. He had such a pleasant experience with Robbie that day. 

  "Uhm," Robbie stuttered. He wondered if Sportacus would believe him if he said nothing was wrong. He then very briefly wondered if Sportacus would ever listen. "Yes, of course, everything's fine." He said, pulling a very fake smile. Sportacus smiled and said "okay", and then went back to shooting the basketball. Robbie put his head in his hands. He decided the rain had gotten to light for his liking, and got up. When he hopped down from the bench, Sportacus turned to him. 

     "Are you sure you wouldn't like to play a bit?" He offered, holding out the ball. Robbie shook his head. "Not a chance, Sportasport."He muttered and turned away. He frowned, very aware of how hurt Sportacus looked. He sighed. He felt bad. Why? He was the villain, this was his _purpose_. However, he stopped anyways. He couldn't figure out why in hell he did it but he turned and said "Another time, maybe."


	5. New Scars

     Robbie flinched and groaned as his arm, the site of a couple new scars, collided with the fridge handle. He huffed and shoved his coffee cup into the coffee machine. What a bother. He walked over to his machinery and got dressed as the coffee poured. He didn't even like coffee, but he had concocted the perfect plan for getting that sports crazed elf out of town once and for all, and he needed the extra energy. He picked up his mug and headed over to one of his workbenches, preparing for a long day.

     Sportacus was disappointed. There hadn't been any new cuts for weeks. It pulled a bit of a damper down on his spirits as he did his morning ritual. He tried to get rid of the upset feeling he had, though, and put on a smile, flipping his water bottle into the air with a bit more enthusiasm. 

     Robbie didn't want to go outside. It was much too sunny and hot for his taste, but he needed to test something for his plan before he could continue his work. He climbed up into bigger tree, testing the branch for strength. He was considerably excited to see that it was quite strong enough for what he needed. He would swear he had an intuition for such things. However, all the elation was completely drained when he looked down. Why the hell did he insist on climbing up into trees every time? He closed his eyes. His voice failed him, and all he managed was a very quiet "help me?", and he was left shivering, holding onto the trunk.

     "Someone's in trouble!" Sportacus chimed as his crystal beeped. Not that it was a good thing, but it was something to take his mind off the cutting. He ran towards the side of his airship. "Door!" he commanded, flipping off the wall and landing in front of the still-opening platform. He stepped out when it was finished lowering, and grabbed his telescope. He checked the sports field first, as that was often where trouble went down. He wasn't far off, as he could see the victim just outside the field. "Robbie" he proclaimed, secretly pleased. He really did enjoy talking with Robbie, even if the other man didn't enjoy it quite as much. He called out for his ladder, moving as fast as he could, a smile faintly present on his lips.

     Sportacus looked up at the man in the tree, grinning. He had clearly forgotten to roll his sleeves down after working on some machine or another, and his cuffs were at his elbows, revealing his pale forearms. However, he didn't find it quite as amusing as Sportacus. Mostly due to him being downright _terrified_ of heights. He was extremely unsure, but he finally made a move to jump down, allowing Sportacus to catch him. Just as Sportacus was about to drop him and flip away with nothing but a simple "Be more careful, Robbie," he noticed the scars. Some were obviously older, barely there, pale and thin, but there were lots of newer ones. What really caught Sportacus's attention, though, were the two obviously brand new marks that hadn't even scabbed over completely. 

     "Um, Sportakook? Are you going to put me down?" Robbie asked impatiently, bracing himself for the fall. Instead, Sportacus gave a very quiet, almost silent "Oh, yeah." and gently placed the taller man's feet on the ground. 

  Robbie stopped. "What's with you today, Sportasuck?" He asked, wondering if he maybe shouldn't have used the nickname. "Oh. Nothing. It's just... Can I tell you something?" Sportacus looked up. Maybe he shouldn't say anything. "Sure." Too late. Sportacus slowly pulled off the bracer on his left arm, revealing the scars that matched Robbie's own. 

"Oh," Robbie mouthed, and they stared at each other for a _very_ long time.


	6. Villainy

     "Why would you cut yourself!?" Robbie's eyes were filled with worry. He had never known anyone as healthy, happy, and just all around perfect as Sportacus. He would never think that someone like him would ever even think about hurting themselves. Apparently, that wasn't the reaction that Sportacus was expecting, because he gave a look somewhere between surprise and indignance. 

     "I don't!" he resounded, reaching for Robbie's arm. He held it up and put his next to it so he could compare the scars. He looked up at Robbie, who had started to go red. 

  "Oh." Robbie whispered. He didn't meet Sportacus's eyes. He couldn't imagine how disappointed the hero must be, to have been paired with the laziest villain he had probably ever seen. Sportacus stopped all his thoughts when he pulled the taller man into a hug. 

      "I don't know your story. I don't know why you don't think so, but you _are_ good enough. I've fallen in love with you, Robbie, and I'm so happy that you're my soulmate. Don't ever think that I don't care about you." He whispered, and felt Robbie start to cry. 

     "I'm sorry," Robbie choked. He had caused so much trouble for the hero, even before they had met. He never thought about how things that he did affected other people until it was much to late. 

  "There's nothing to be sorry for, Robbie." Sportacus assured him, pulling away from the hug. "But I'd like you to talk to me. It doesn't have to be now, just, sometime... I'll see you later, Robbie." and he departed. Robbie watched him leave. His walk home seemed so much longer than he remembered. He was thinking about so many things. Soulmates are a one time thing, and despite what Sportacus had said, he could never believe he deserved someone like that. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't know what he would do, but it didn't matter. He had a plan to put into action. A plan that would make Sportacus leave town forever! Except it wouldn't. He didn't know why he ever expected them to. He suddenly didn't remember why he wanted Sportacus gone. And then, he did remember, and he suddenly cared a lot less about making children lazy. But as he neared his home, he was still intent on making his plan work, because the villainy was part of who he was, and he knew for a fact some sports elf wasn't going to change that. And then, after his fail-safe plan somehow failed, he thought that maybe he could talk to Sportacus. Maybe he would have that.


	7. Falling

     It was raining again. It had been raining for three days straight, which was needed for the gardens, but didn't happen very often. The rain had lightened up a bit, and Robbie could hear Sportacus out shooting basketball again. His decision to go outside had absolutely nothing to do with that fact. He walked with his arms crossed. It was colder than he expected. He could have gone back to get a coat, but he was already halfway to the sports field, and was much too lazy to walk back. 

     "Hi Robbie!" Sportacus chirped, barely sparing the taller man a glance as he tossed the basketball against the backboard. It made it in the hoop, which didn't surprise Robbie in the least. Robbie sat down on the seat of the bench he had sat on a week prior. Sportacus retrieved the ball, set it down at the bottom of the hoop, and took a seat next to Robbie. "Hey Sport-Sportacus," he shivered, giving a small, fake smile. Sportacus gave him a really confused look. It stayed for a minute, then he gave a small "Oh!" and grabbed the jacket he had left sitting under the bench. He unfolded it and offered it to Robbie, who decided against arguing and just put it on quickly. "Thanks, Sportaflop." He sighed, leaning back against the bench, considerably warmer. They sat in a silence that neither were sure was comfortable or not for a little bit before Sportacus got an idea and jumped up, offering his hand to the other man. Robbie took it, trying his hard not to laugh at the adorable elf standing in front of him. Sportacus pulled him up and off to some streets that Robbie didn't care to memorize. Sportacus's hand was cold, but even so, Robbie wasn't in any hurry to let go. He hadn't quite worked out exactly how he felt about Sportacus, but he knew in that moment that he never, ever wanted to let go. Sportacus pulled him into some small building on some street that Robbie had never seen anyone enter or leave. 

     "Where... what is this?" Robbie asked, wary. He suddenly realized he didn't trust Sportacus as much as he would like to. Sportacus laughed. "This is my house!" He said, smiling wide. It took Robbie a moment to process that. He looked around, there was nothing in the main room except a single mattress with an old box TV sitting in front of it. "Don't you live in your airship?" Robbie asked, looking for the elf who had suddenly disappeared from his side. "Yep!" he called from somewhere down the hall. Robbie walk towards his voice to find him in the bathroom. He pulled his hat off and hung it up on a hook on the wall "Then why do you have a house?" Robbie asked, leaning against the doorway and resisting an urge to curl his fingers into Sportacus's thick, golden hair. "I live in LazyTown, and in order to be a town resident you have to own property in the town." He stated, ducking past Robbie and walking back to the living room. Robbie followed him back, finding him sitting against the wall on top of the mattress. He leaned his head back against the wall and put his hand out next to him, inviting Robbie to come sit with him. Robbie dropped Sportacus's jacket on the floor, then moved over to him, and Sportacus pulled his hand up so Robbie could sit down. "Do you want to talk?" He asked, crossing his legs and turning his head towards Robbie. "I don't know." Robbie said, honestly. Sportacus moved a bit closer, but not enough that they were touching. "Why do you cut?" He asked, keeping his voice even. Robbie looked away. "My dad? Maybe. Or something else. A lot of reasons. I don't know." He stated, already feeling worse. "Your dad?" Sportacus asked, trying to further prompt Robbie into speaking. 

     "He was always trying to pressure me into being a better. A better that... I just couldn't be. He never knew he was hurting me. And I just... I could never say anything, then I... I came out. He didn't understand, but he wasn't ever rude about it. He always wanted me to be the best, and that never changed, and my mom was so... kind. But no one else was. People said a lot of things, and I... I always, always believed them." He fell against Sportacus, who had wrapped his arms around him. Robbie had fully become a crying mess by then. "I started cutting after my dad died. I guess I never realized how much I needed him to tell me that I could be better. I thought he was the problem, but it was never really him. It was always me. My mom got me into working a second job after she found about my cutting, two years after he died. She thought it would help get my mind off things. It actually kind of helped, and I'm glad she did because I saved up a lot of money because of it." Robbie paused for a second to wipe away the remaining tears, then continued. "After four years of that, with a bit of my mom's help, I paid for top surgery. I spent that year off, then went back to working a full time job. My mom died four years later, and I went to college after that. I studied to become an engineer, and I got my degree, but I never really liked the work I had to do. So I moved back to LazyTown, and... well, I'm still here." He wrapped up his story with a long sniff, then leaned against the wall.

     Sportacus frowned. "You're not done." He stated, motioning to the scars he had gotten the week before, which were thankfully the last ones he had received, but were still much too recent. Robbie sighed. "Just remnants of the past." Sportacus placed his hand on the back of Robbie's head an pulled him closer. "Never do it again." He said, then pressed his lips against his soulmate's. "Okay." Robbie replied when Sportacus pulled away. He leaned in and kissed him again. "It's past 8:08." Sportacus said, laying down on the mattress and bringing Robbie with him. Robbie grabbed the blanket that was folded neatly next to the mattress and pulled it over the both of them. 

     "Goodnight, Robbie."

  "Goodnight Sports."


	8. Scarred

     Robbie jumped and choked on the cake he had been trying to eat as a sudden burning sensation grew in his shoulder. A string of curse words and a quick jog to the bathroom mirror told him that Sportacus had hurt himself again. Most of Sport's injuries were on his shoulders, elbows, hands, and knees, which wasn't surprising at all from someone like him. But still, he didn't get hurt often. And that was a good thing, Robbie thought, pulling his shirt back on. Very suddenly, Robbie wished he had a mobile phone, on which he could text. He had never needed one before, with no family or friends, but as he grew fonder of Sportacus all of that had seemed to change. Also, he needed a cell phone. He decided that ordering one online would be the best way to go, and got right on that.

     Sportacus winced as the pain shot through his arm. Moving it at all was painful, and blood was starting to seep through the sleeve on his blue and white shirt. "Hey kids! I've got to go! Have fun!" He called out in his ever cheerful tone and ran off to hurriedly climb his ladder. The airship was warm and white and a complete contrast to the cool and dark autumnal setting he had just exited. "Bed!" He called, followed by "Med-kit!" He clicked off his vest, and then (almost successfully) unzipped his shirt and pulled it down to hang around his waist. Who made this costume, he pondered as he poured his rubbing alcohol on a rag. He winced as the alcohol reestablished the pain in his arm. He wrapped a smaller bandage around it and laid down, pushing the med-kit aside. For the first time, he imagined the pain this would cause Robbie. Never once had Sportacus imagined how all his sports related injuries had affected his soulmate. He had always been so worried about the cuts and pricks he himself had received. Selfish, he thought. "Apple!" He said.

     Robbie had not been allowed, not by Sportacus, at least, to eat cake until he stopped picking his scabs, Sportacus had said. And it worked. Robbie had stopped picking his scabs, and had also started eating cake again. So this time, when Sportacus slid down the pipe he had nothing to hide. In fact, he ate his cake _so_ openly and proudly, just so Sportacus could see he had stopped.   
"Did you stop?" Sportacus asked. "Yes!" Robbie replied, holding out the 's'. Sportacus smiled and laughed. He loved it when Robbie made him genuinely laughed, it was one of the better things he had ever experienced. Sportacus went and joined him in the orange chair, forcing him to scoot over.   
     "Also, I bought a cell phone." Robbie added. "What? Do they even sell mobile phones in the stores around here?" Sportacus asked, though he did not move from the place on Robbie's shoulder where he had decided to rest his head. "On the internet, dummy." Robbie laughed. "What happened to your shoulder?" To which Sportacus proceeded to tell the story of how the wall had almost fallen again, and how he had almost not noticed this time.   
     "Someone needs to check that out," he added when he was done. "Falling walls tend to be dangerous."  
"I will," Robbie said, seemingly deep in thought. Sportacus nodded and sighed contentedly. After Robbie had finished his cake, they cuddled in silence for a while, which neither minded. It was nice, actually. But after the events of earlier, Robbie had formed a question, and it was finally time to ask, he decided.

     "So, a couple years ago... what were you doing that you scrubbed your knees so much, Mr. Goodie-goodie?" Sportacus laughed. And moved to look at Robbie.   
"Actually, I was on both a basketball team and volleyball team. You might be surprised on how often you scrub your knees on the floor... especially in volleyball. Mostly in volleyball." Robbie thought for a second. "Is it even fair to have you on a sports team? I mean, I've seen you play basketball, and it's definitely not fair." Sportacus laughed once more.   
     "You're right. I sat out during games. Still, I gave them hell in scrimmages!" Robbie hummed in thought, imagining ordinary guys being physically and emotionally destroyed by the likes of Sportacus himself.   
     "And what about those elbows, and the fingers?" Robbie pressed further. His scars were all easily identifiable, he felt, but he honestly couldn't imagine what could bring about the cuts on Sportacus's fingers.  
"The elbows are from volleyball, still. And the hands are mostly from cooking. Sometimes I get distracted when I'm cutting. And also, from scrubbing them on the sides of swimming pools throughout the years." Sportacus enlightened Robbie. It was a reminder to Sportacus how absent minded and easily distracted he was. "You cook?" Robbie asked, genuinely curious, and Sportacus didn't blame him. He didn't really seem the type, it was true.  
"Yes, my mother taught me most of what I know but sometimes the airship helps if I'm really stuck. I find it better to cook for yourself than to go out. In fact, I find it better to not eat anything cooked at all, but sometimes I get bored." Robbie hummed again at that and tapped his fingers. He might just have to exploit Sportacus for his cooking skills, at some point.

      "Between the two of us, there must be about a million scars on our fingers," Robbie thought aloud, laughing. Sportacus agreed. "What are yours from?" Sport asked, snuggling into Robbie once more.   
"Oh, mostly sewing. And cooking, some, too. I used to work fast food, y'know."  
     "No, I didn't know that." Sportacus stated. "I like hearing about you, Robbie." He added, which really mad Robbie blush. "I love you, too, Sportafruit," he mumbled. He hadn't meant to say "Sportafruit", but he had. And he had to live with that now.


End file.
